I
have been there – relaxed hair, Chinese weaves, wigs, etc – anything but my own
hair. The relaxed hair is pretty for only a week and afterwards it start
becoming less silky and your friends will start asking you what you are going
to do with the hair. Luckily for me I had started on my path to natural hair
before I got wind of how crazy things have become with the hair fashion. The
Brazilian hair is the new thing in the style mantra of young and old women
alike in the part of the world where I come from. It costs quite a fortune,
ranging from 15k to 50k per pack and in order to get the full look, 2 0r 3
packs may well be used. It sits pretty on heads of female bankers, university
undergrads, government officials, first ladies, market women..... I didn’t bite
the bait of this societal appeal for this new brand of hair as I was already
gaining more confidence in my new look. I had also become a student of African
history and had come to understand quite a few of how things were centuries
before now.
My
first relaxer application was in the year 1995, a year before I finished
secondary school. Even though many girls in school had had their hair relaxed
many years earlier, few of us still had ‘virgin’ hair. My mum alternated
between weaving her hair and jerry curls. She was not given to fashion and
trend anyway and she didn’t push me for it so it was my decision. After
relaxing my hair, the length was about back length, voluminous and silky. But
then it began to reduce in length and size. The relaxers I could afford were
regular lye based (main ingredient is Sodium Hydroxide, a strong base) ones, the no-lye relaxer kit (contains Calcium Hydroxide and Guanidine Carbonate) were much more expensive.
Scalp lesions and burns were a regular part of the process that I had to endure
like every other girl/woman. This was all in an attempt to look ‘pretty’
(according to a set standard which was not determined by people who looked like
me). Years later I started using Dark and Lovely relaxer kit. Though I didn’t
suffer scalp burns I however was left with a featherweight and brownish hair. My hair
thinned so badly I contemplated cutting it off. I was advised to switch to
Olive oil kit which I continued to use until I found out the truth about my
hair in 2011. All the while, I had this feeling of something not right with the
whole process of hair relaxing and weave-ons but when that is the norm, many
young girls just grow into it no questions asked. Few women who kept their hair
natural did so out of their religious belief.
I
once put up on my facebook wall (not timeline) a question ‘why do we have to go
through the stress of relaxing our hair and covering it with weaves?” The response were the regular “it’s just
hair, it’s choice, our hair is unmanageable, ‘it’s all about looking good,
baby”, “it’s easy”, it’s more professional”….. I can’t remember any comment in
support of natural hair. I later became ‘friends’ with Jodie (Kuchi Kuchi) and
learnt that she had natural hair. She encouraged other young women to embrace
their natural hair and posted pictures of her natural hairstyles. That sparked
some interest in me and I began to research about it (research work…lol). Not
long after, a fb friend who has since become more than a friend (more like a
sis) told me she was a natural. When I considered that she was educated (formally
and informally), intelligent and was not keeping her hair for religious
reasons, I began to ask her more questions. She shared with me all the stories
behind her going natural and how she has come to accept her natural heritage. I
felt so encouraged I made up my mind to go for it. She gave me some tidbits and
here I am 16months after, going steadily, confident and assured that I am on
the track that I should be. I have since discovered that so many young (and
old) African women on the African soil and in Diaspora are embracing their
natural self from head to toe.
Many
people discard with a wave of the hand when we speak about African history and
learning about our heritage. Some say “let bygone be bygone and let's focus on
the present and the future”. I have come to understand that the only reason why
many African women don't feel comfortable in their own hair (and skin) can be
traced to the events of the past - colonialism, slavery, segregation,
apartheid, racism. No running away from it no matter how much we tried to. Our
forebears managed this 'unmanageable hair' well even with their limited
knowledge. Some hair styles were part of the identity of tribes in same way
that tribal marks were then. Many of them had very long hair - kinky and loc. One
would have thought that we would have learnt much more about our hair (if we
wear it) that we would know how best to wear it now. We had mentally succumbed
to the appeal of media and the shortcuts that it encouraged. It's easier to
wear a wig or weave than to nurture my natural hair.... We need to start
thinking about these issues below the surface because they go way below.
If
we understand why some of our women bleach their skins, then you will
understand it isn't about variety or choice, it's about disgust and distaste
for their black skins and a belief that the lighter the skin is, the better.
The lighter skin being a closer colour to the skin tone of the 'massas'. That
same kind of mindset is what goes on with the hair. There are so many varieties
that the natural hair can be worn in but we would rather argue for the variety
of the silky hairs of other races. We are the ONLY RACE that wears other races'
hair. Some of those hairs are literally shorn off living people's heads. And
just like we can't grow rice for ourselves anymore but rely on Thailand and
Vietnam to grow food for us, we are now relying on Brazil, India, Peru,
Malaysia, Chinese, and Vietnam to grow hair for us!!!!!
There
are lots of debates about this topic in recent times particularly last week
when the award winning novelist, Chimamanda Adichie accused African women who
wear Brazillian hair of having low self-esteem and insecure with their natural
hair. When asked to discuss about her new novel ‘Americanah’ that includes the
detail descriptions of black women having their hair done and also to give a
brief description of her own hair, she replied "That is the best question!
My hair is in tiny cornrows; I have a big ponytail on the top of my head. I
quite like it. It is natural. I am a bit of a fundamentalist when it comes to
black women's hair. Hair is hair – yet also about larger questions:
self-acceptance, insecurity and what the world tells you is beautiful. For many
black women, the idea of wearing their hair naturally is unbearable." I
picture the excitement with which she answered that question. Like a child
happy to tell her favorite story. I once shared with a friend that when I cut
my perms and started pouring water on my hair almost every day of that week I
felt like a child who had found a lost item – very excited and always taking
pictures and chatting with my friend about my hair.
I
don’t know if Chimamanda has been natural all her life (I don’t imagine so), so
I understand that she also criticizes herself for her ignorance and low esteem
when she conformed to the ‘norm’. That is not to say she feels superior, I
don’t feel superior for being natural. What I feel is more peaceful, more
confident, healthier and wholesome. I am thankful to my friend for the
encouragement she provided and I have decided to also be a source of support
and resource to others who decide to embrace their natural hair (and skin and
heritage). I have managed to do so with a few women in my circle and I hope to
continue to do so. To understand the issues of self-esteem being addressed by
the novelist, you only need to go to our nursery and primary schools. It’s very
normal to see young girls from the age of 3 with perms and weaves. These young
girls grow up never knowing how their natural hair looks and feels like and
will look at someone who wore one as 'strange'. Some of those children even
have lightening creams being rubbed on their tender skins. The child knows
nothing about society’s standards of beauty except what the mother (or
caregiver) describes and paints for her. It will be difficult to find a mother
with natural hair who perms her little girl’s hair. It reveals quite a lot of
information on the state of mind of the average adult African woman. Does she
know who she really is? Does she know the truth about her heritage?
The
reality is that not everyone will immediately accept the truth of this hair
message but once we begin to realize the truth in the message, we ought to
start taking steps to correct the errors about the definition of beauty and the
likes. We owe it to our children and the future generations to restore the
dignity and the pride of our natural endowments (as we were before
'civilization').... To me, this hair issue is more than a simple case of choice
(a firm believer in choice I hold that no one can take that away from anyone
else); it’s more about responsibility that we owe one another. The more we
become responsible (which means making lesser and lesser excuses), the
stronger, prouder, more confident and resourceful as a people we will become
world over.
Quotes:
“Our
liberation has many facets and though some may look insignificant but they hold
the key to the solution of identity - crisis of which we suffer in different
forms (political, economic, social, religious).” – Mary Achor-Ogungbola
"Self-esteem
is essential for psychological survival... You have the capacity to define who
you are and then decide if you like that identity or not. But, when you reject
parts of yourself, you greatly damage the psychological structures that
literally keep you alive." - McKay (Via Stop Buying Weaves/Perms)
“Being
natural is not a statement, it’s the closest I can get to being myself” –
www.facebook.com/womanknowthyself
“Mental
slavery: why are we programmed to hate ourselves, our essences and our core?
Fela called it colomental = colonial mentality. Do we not spend billions of
dollars in the hair industry to buy every OTHER hair color? To buy every OTHER
texture? Do we not see that our self hatred makes other people millionaires? Do
we honestly wonder why our little girls hate themselves? When the majority of
the women around them hate themselves? You turn on the TV, there is a Sister
with blond hair, there are campaigns and ads where Beyonce has been made to
look “lighter” than what she already is. How are our young girls going to learn
self love, if those that are suppose to teach them are wallowing in self
hate?” - All Progressives Grand Alliance
- USA
P.S
As
I write this post, I watched a programme “Titanic Nuclear secret” on National Geographic Channel and I smiled to
myself that hey, we are yet dealing with hair and leadership issues. But I
believe that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. Let's keep
taking those steps...
